My meeting with Agnes Moorhead, now the Director of Communications, didn’t go well as well as I thought it would. I was the one who asked for the meeting. I knew why that idea had popped in my mind. In acting, they ask you to seek the truth of the situation, although the character you are playing might not even have a clue.
So intuitively, I understood that now that I was up here on the 3rd floor, I should take advantage of the people who shaped the image of the company, and try to become one of them.
We actors are more introspective and insightful than we are given credit for.
I was really pumped up to have finally get a sit-down in front of Mrs. Morehead and have an extended conversation. My idea of a promotional film that we could distribute widely had become an obsessive thought ever since it popped into my mind, unexpectedly, just a few weeks ago.
In my mind, my MBA did not fail me, and even my years as an actor had provided dividends and elements I could still use to my advantage. And, after three years as the site’s editor, and sending words, ideas and images out to untold millions, I had a good idea about what would work for this company.
After all these years, I was now ready to face a new kind of life, a kind of life I once trained and longed for. For years it had been suppressed, beaten out of me by Angel’s betrayal and the constant rejection I faced as an artist; and far worse, the feeling of guilt that I had betrayed my parents, who had spent so much of their hard earned money on me, and had little to show for it, except a few good notices in the online world of my “brilliant” voice.
My brain was finally turned back on, as I soon saw myself starring in a small film produced by transgobaltech.com as I represented our company to the public.
I would tell everyone just how wonderful we really were, and how much we do to help the world communicate, and have easy access to those things that will keep the engines of progress moving ahead.
Yes, I could hear the words emerging from me. It was also a strange feeling, in that I thought that I had long suppressed this feeling that I could make something like this vision happen.
I saw it in my mind’s eye. I saw it! I knew. I could walk through it better than any actor they could hire. And I could even write and direct it.
But Agnes Morehead obviously never spent a night on stage.
“Do you have any idea what something like that would cost, Mr. Omak? I can’t even see how we could make something like that fly during good times. And now that things could really fall apart tomorrow, you think that the one idea that will save us is that we make a video starring you? That degree in theatre is not going to get you anywhere here at transgobaltech, so you need to come up with some better ideas, that way we can work together, which I am looking forward to.
“Also, you mentioned that Ron was Hispanic and we could use that angle for public support because Hispanics are in the majority. First of all, all that minority/ majority stuff is long dead. Mr. Martinez is as WASP as anyone else, and to attempt to portray him any other way is not even worth considering.”
As she stared at me from behind those glasses, she no longer looked sexy, to say the least. I could hear echoes of Eric’s comment about what century I was living in.
What a bitch. I was happy to join Daji down in the break room on the 2nd floor just to get away from my recent humiliation at the hands of Agnes Morehead.
“How’s life upstairs?” he asked.
“Well, let’s put it this way, Dash, I can now see why Assai stayed down here in Engineering hiding with Mr. Kan and the help.”
Daji sighed in sympathy, although he knew little of what I had just been through, and the deep conflicts that now were a part of me. It was not only that my ideas had been so quickly shot down, but that I had allowed myself to dream and hope for something I thought my inner self had long been rid of.
I could now see that Gladys and Eric had reawakened something in me that had obviously lain dormant, just waiting for the right signal to be reactivated. Being up there on the 3rd floor, and seeing all the creative activities and the arty women, only made this aching inside of me grow stronger and stronger, until I didn’t know how it would ever find any satisfaction.
In many ways, I wished that things were back to where they were before I met Gladys.
“There was a great deal that Mr. Assai saw with brilliant clarity,” Daji answered. My mind was still on my inner angst and Agnes, so his remark didn’t resonate with me until I was on the train home.
Hmmm … I wonder what he meant by that. For the good Lord’s sake, whoever that may be, I should have followed up and asked him just what he meant. This could have been the opening I was looking for in my undercover work. As much as I liked the guy, maybe I should spend more time with him, and stay in my mad-at-the-world mode.
This line of thought all at once made me feel better. I was still an actor, with what could still turn out to be the role of a lifetime.